The woman who literally walked away...

So I read an article the other day forwarded to me from a friend of a friend of a friend (hate those) but the title caught my eye, "The woman who literally walked away." Basic premise of the story was that an adult woman had gone missing. Initially the police and family believed there to be foul play involved but after finding her car parked at a nearby beach with her purse and keys in the car their mindset switched to suicide.

For weeks friends and family posted pictures around the city hoping to find anyone who might have seen the woman. It was presumed by all involved that she simply walked into the ocean and never returned. Whether by suicide or accident the watery grave held her mysteries for eternity. That was until the day that someone found her sitting on the beach.

She was taken to the hospital and treated for sunburn and dehydration. So what happened? She won't say. That's right, she claims to not be able to talk about it. The official report was that no crime was committed and the family is happy to have her home.

Is she happy to be home?

This woman who just weeks before walked away from her parked car and started living somewhere near or at the beach. Who despite seeing pictures of her face in various places remained hidden. Was she abducted? Abused? Crazy? All reports towards those scenarios were cleared. No evidence of a crime. Cleared by a psychiatrist. In fact, one statement from the police said that it was not a crime to not want to be found.

So, who out there has wanted to walk away and never return? To just start in one direction and never look back?

What in her life pushed her to that extreme? What was she hiding from or running to?

I'm reminded of a quote from the book Revolutionary Road, "No, Frank. This is what's unrealistic. It's unrealistic for a man with a fine mind to go on working year after year at a job he can't stand. Coming home to a place he can't stand, to a wife who's equally unable to stand the same things. And you know what the worst part of it is? Our whole existence here is based on this great premise that we're special. They we're superior to the whole thing. But we're not. We're just like everyone else! We bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. That we have to resign from life and settle down the moment we have children. And we've been punishing each other for it."

Sometimes people wake up and have no idea how they ended up where they are. There are those that fix this feeling by buying a fancy new car or making a drastic life change. In those instances we cry midlife crisis. I'd like to challenge the same in this story, that she simply looked at her life and no longer recognized it as her own or as she once dreamed it would be. We come to a wall at that moment and something has to change.....anything.
Maybe she found herself in that place, unable to attach herself to anything stable and so she ran from it all. I have heard more moms than I care to admit articulate that same sentiment in wish form.

So after all of these years of forward movement why does it seem that women still can't seem to balance family and self? Why is it that their needs are still placed on the last wrung of the family ladder?

I survived my first mid-life crisis like that of a surf boarders dream swell turned horribly wrong, leaving in my wake pain and confusion. I view it now though as the little leak of air that kept me from popping. The necessary evil to help balance and sanity prevail.

Thank you to those who helped me through. You that inspired me, loved me unconditionally and held me close even when I was fighting to run.

So, the woman who literally walked away - I hope this is not you but I fear too many of us stuff the desire instead of talking about it. Find someone to confide in. I'm happy to listen. No need to be embarrassed or ashamed. I can assure you that I had to hit the floor with humility and beg for help back up.

I'll shut up now thanks...