Coexist

 

I am being forcefully pushed into this topic today.  It seems that the universe itself is blowing the word coexist against my back.  Yes, this is the bumper sticker you see on cars.  For many years I admired it.  I would look at it and think that the owner of the car must be very forgiving and loving.  For just as many years my conservative friends have made fun of the same sticker.  Instead of seeing awareness and promise they see naivety and impossibility. 

At first I was shocked by their stance but when looking at the people it was coming from I could understand it.  Soldiers don't have the luxury of thinking that there will one day be peace.  Something in them has to be wired to handle conflict and accept it as normal life.  I can see that view clearly.   Others that are religious believe that peace will never come and that biblically it can't because the end of this world comes in the midst of war.  Others are very intelligent and they simply believe that humans are incapable of ever living in peace. 

I'm going to go ahead and agree with all of the naysayers here - no matter their reason.  I do believe that we will never EVER coexist on this planet in harmony.  Even if only one religion, one race, or one country was all that was left on earth there would still be conflict.

In my previous posts you know that I feel strongly that without a reason to fight we would die.  We are human.  In order to grow or evolve we must progress and what comes in the wake of progression?  Casualties.

So Coexist - no I don't believe it but I still feel hope and love when I see one on the back of a car.  Because despite our restless need to engage there are those of us out there that are striving to change.  Perhaps that is the battle in itself.  A fight with ourselves might just be what we all need.  Whatever may drive you  it is time to find within yourself a bit of compassion. 

The next time you see the bumper sticker instead of judging them take inventory and change one thing in your day.  Don't yell at the car in front of you, do not raise your voice at your child unnecessarily, refuse to be bated by an annoying salesperson, thank your waiter, smile at a stranger, or simply be thankful. 

Coexist with yourself and pass it on to others.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

Naked

Unfortunately last night my phone took a turn for the worse, or rather it took a swim.  Yes, my Droid was soaked in water and it did not revive upon resuscitation.  As I watched it happen the horror on my face was both real and true.  A large pit started to form in my stomach as my mind began to race through my options.  I could call someone, nope.  I could text someone, nope.  I could jump online and look for the best way to solve this, nope. 

I ended up taking the phone apart and leaving it to dry.  There I sat all night on my sofa thinking about how I would notify others that I was no longer in the communication loop.  I mean, sure I had my computer but what good was that if I was not at home?  Yes, I also have a home phone but unfortunately it is only for my alarm system and I do not even know my phone number. 

Human communication aside, I was also upset that  I could not do my nightly reading of USA Today before bed nor check the weather for the week. 

With every move I made I felt as if I was missing a friend. 

This morning my husband and I attempted to "fix" my phone.  This "fix" did not work.  It was dead. 

On my drive to the phone store I felt as if I had forgotten something.  Several times I would glance longingly at my car dock wishing I had my music to play or email to check. 

After a nice employee confirmed that yes, my phone was completely crapped out I offhandedly commented, "I hate this." 

He knowingly shook his head and said, "I would rather leave my house without my wallet than my phone.  In fact, I will turn around and go back to my house to get my forgotten phone but not my wallet."

Interesting I thought.  I do believe I would do the same, that is unless I was going shopping. 

So why, when, and how did our dependence become so strong?  Everyone expects to reach people instantly.  Now with Four Square and Facebook Places we have evolved beyond reaching people, we must know where those people are. 

In a world that seems pretty small it seems that technology is making it smaller.   Soon I won't be able to pee without someone knowing that I am doing it and most likely there will be a button my friends can click on to support me in that effort.  "Way to go you used the big girl potty!" 

OK OK - LOL I know that is extreme but if you think about it not beyond the realm of possibilities. 

It is still hard for me to believe that my son has never known a world without cell phones.  In fact, he probably will never remember just a cell phone for him the memory will be smart phones.

I hooked back up an old phone we had lying around but I refuse to text on it.  There is no keyboard and it takes too long.  This is my interim phone while we decide what to buy and who to use as our carrier.  I don't know how long I will survive without my other phone.  Perhaps it will be a freeing experience or perhaps I will continue to feel, naked. 

I"ll shut up now, thanks...

The Monkey On My Back - Part Two

OK - sorry for the delay.  I got distracted by life...you know that thing that happens to inspire us to write? 

The second monkey as I mentioned before is all about baby.  This is most definitely a woman driven monkey.  Slap a bow on the ape and call it Shirley because men do not pressure other men to have a child. 

Again - such disparity.  Why? 

Which one is right?  Even though a woman myself, I believe the man is right in this instance.  Oh how we do not need another bit of pressure put onto our new marriages.  

But then I look at the high rate of infertility and I have to wonder... are we waiting too long???

I started trying to have a baby at 21 although I secretly longed for one at 16.  I felt it would be the ultimate rebellion and God blessed solidification of the relationship I was in.  I wanted to be an adult.  I was insane, completely and utterly insane. 

I mean truly how would I have handled a baby at that age??? NOT WELL. 

Even my deepest desires did not change my inability to conceive.  Strike that, my husband and I's inability to conceive.  Oddly enough the same man I started trying with at 16 was the man I finally ended up pregnant with at 28. 

Since that time I have had someone in my life at every moment that was experiencing infertility.  A neighbor, friend, acquaintance, friend of a friend, family member, etc. 

Oh my, once again I digress.  The issue at hand is the pressure to have children.  Obviously in my case waiting had nothing to do with my infertility however I know that is the case in some instances.  So maybe we should have babies when we are young, maybe not. 

In this matter I am truly a God focused person.  The rest of my life I live in the grey - but on the topic of childhood I stand on the side of God.  I fully trust that he gives life no matter the way, reason, or vehicle.  So who are we to try and control such a magical thing?  Well, we are human and that is what we do. 

Wow, sorry for the ramblings on tonight.  I am not speaking of IUI or IVF which I have done in my life.  I am talking about the pressure of it all. 

Why must we feel the hurried rush?  Is is adding to our infertility?  They say stress makes a difference, that type A personalities have more trouble.  If this is true then shouldn't we leave well enough alone?  Ha, easy to say but impossible to do.

So after monkey one and monkey two what happens??  Everyone stops bothering you to get married and instead of asking for baby they are cooing over your newborn but what comes next for you?

This is where I lost myself.  In the aftermath of those two monkeys.  I think that is where a lot of us lose sight of who we are.  Because as women, nothing else is supposed to drive us, we are to be content to be a wife and a mother even with the leaps and bounds of our woman predecessors.

For me at least I had to sit and wonder what my place was in this life outside of family.  I wanted to figure out how I was to make an impact on this world beyond giving birth and loving a man.

Do I know the answer?  No.

But the monkey on my back now is self-imposed.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

My Presence

I don't know how to gain followers.

I am not up to date on all of the blogger ways that people use to promote their "presence."

Do I even want a presence?

I ask myself, why do I write? Is it for feedback, praise, conflict, stimulation, readers, followers, fans, friends, or family? No. I write because I love it. When I am venting via words my problems don't seem that bad and my world doesn't seem so big. When I write, I am in complete control.  Every move a character makes is maneuvered by the writer.  It is the perfect Type A outlet.

The novel I wrote, I personally love. Even though I know it needs some work, the essence of the story is so true and pure that I cannot help but embrace it. I do not believe it will ever be published but that will not stop me from trying.

I have another story I want to write. This is after all how I live my life. Writing novel after novel sometimes years apart, sometimes days. I proudly say I am a writer. Even without a published item I know it to be true. And even if I had nothing to write on or with I would still compose a novel in my head. Holding it there until the time when I could let it out.

I appreciate my two followers.  Thank you.

I'll shut up now thanks...

I should have been a Catholic

Why? Guilt. The guilt I carry around cries out for absolution. But, I'm not Catholic. Though I do believe that origin of how to feel guilt did come from religion. Attending church on Sunday's was not an option in my family. So regularly I went, bucking the system and lashing out every step of the way. Occasionally I would find peace but most of the time I just felt worse about myself after being there. Hearing the pastor talk about sin and hell stirred a need inside of me to prove him wrong. I set out to be as controversial as possible, pushing limits and daring God to strike me down. He never did though, and the end result Sunday after Sunday was guilt.

I have not been able to pinpoint why it is so strong and relevant in my current life. I do not practice a "religion" though I attend different churches occasionally and believe myself to be a spiritual person. So you would think my guilt meter would be relatively steady. Unfortunately burned into my DNA, is the instinctive act of placing guilt with every error.

Why should I feel guilty over every mistake I make? I think the more important task would be to learn from your error, not to wallow in the guilt. I am merely trying not to sin to avoid the guilty feeling. How is that productive?? I want to be the kind of person who tries not to make a mistake because of the consequences not the guilt. I want to let the guilt go and learn.

How do I break free from this cycle? Today I did it with a run and some meditation. But I know I need to change my thinking. I need to replace the words sin and guilt in my mind and change them to mistakes and learning experiences. Because isn't that truly all sin is, a mistake? And isn't guilt supposed to remind us of the why?

I should have been a Catholic - absolution would be much easier than this.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

The Monkey On My Back - Part One

I am surprised yet comforted to have found other women who have spent a lifetime being plagued by the same “monkey on their back” feeling. This little character, who sometimes resembles a child's backpack and other times a modern day Godzilla, is a troublesome entity that adds to my wrinkles and mocks my attempts at sleep. Despite its addictive nature there are no literal drugs or alcohol involved. Rather the need blooms from the tic-tocking hand of the clock that hangs in my kitchen, sits on my wrist, and flashes in my car. I'm not talking about the balancing act of life as we try to fit too much into one day, no this is something that runs much deeper. This is a rooted feeling that I am being pushed forward at an accelerated rate while moments that I want to enjoy pass by before I know they are gone. This is the old live in the moment cliche that only an elusive few seem to master. The quest for peace or even stillness in a constantly moving world. It is why we flock to movies like Eat, Pray, Love. We want, no need to believe that it is achievable. And I believe it is. The error we have been making is in the thinking that if we find it on our own it is enough. It is not. It is time for a larger change, one that re-wires our brains in this high speed world.

As a single woman my focus was on finding a man. This, I call the societal trap of settling down. In this scenario it can be a who or a what that is motivating and pressing hard against your back bone. When it is a who, it is typically a woman, perhaps a mom, sister, friend or even a new acquaintance. Their questions always the same and depicted repeatedly as normal in every romantic movie you watch. The what is a more broad spectrum of assailants. It could be the solitary egg you cooked for breakfast, a couple holding hands as they walk down the street, or that fact that all of your friends are now spending more time with their spouses. This is a woman's first step in adulthood, to find a man.

I speak from a woman's perspective merely because I am one. When the truth is that this pressure also holds true for a man. However, the usual driving force is still that of a woman. Only in extreme cases do you hear of a father pestering his son to settle down or get married. Their general outlook is usually quite the opposite, one filled with nothing but time.

What we have then are laid back men and high strung women looking for companionship. It is no wonder that individuals find themselves in failed marriages. With this recipe how could you not?

Why are we in such a hurry to find our mate? Who says what age is too old to be single? What makes people still jump to the conclusion that a middle aged man or woman who has never been married might be gay? Can't we say as a whole that when the right person comes along then it is the right time? Isn't that what you would wish on your loved ones? To find their best fit?

We need to believe more in the art of trusting our gut/heart. That when the person is right something in you just knows. Too many people allow the perceived pressure to give them that “aha” feeling. The fact that this might be the best they can get and if they don't take it, they lose it.

I would like to project a new thought: Time is not running out, your best fit is out there – wait for them.

Without that pressure, relationships would have the proper time they need to develop. Some would go the distance and others would obviously not. Many marriages would have never occurred and divorces in kind.

Can we change our mentality? I would hope so and I think historically we have but the need must be recognized.

So, let us say that you have conquered that quest, your mate found and a ring safely on your finger. That the monkey on your back is pacified and now you can relax. The nagging feeling disappears and life is good. Right?

Wrong. Tomorrow I will jump into the second primate behind us....having a baby.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

Walking Eccentric

Lately my posts have been about life, moving and beautiful life. The art and the act of trying to live as best we can. And in this state of mind I have become very observant of people.

Today as I looked out my living room window as I moved dishes from the sofa table to the sink and I saw a man walking. Not an unusual site for my neighborhood but immediately he struck me as odd.

He was early to mid sixties with dark hair and glasses. He wore a blue and white striped shirt, black sports shorts, long white socks pulled up to his calf, and brown leather loafers. Uniform aside, his gait was one of purpose filled chaos.

It was all I could do not to laugh as his arms swung wildly front and back, front and back. A rhythm to be sure but no music in his ears. With his gaze fixed straight ahead looking as if he was headed somewhere... but where?

Had his car broke down? Was his grandson ahead of him on a bike? Did his dog run off? Perhaps a neighbor was coming out their front door that he wanted to catch before they went back in. Yes, I could almost see his hand lifting up for a wave.

Putting it out of my mind I continued on with my day. but to my surprise, an hour later I saw him again. The only difference was that he had removed his shirt and now held it in one of his hands. I have to admit, it altered his gait a bit to hold it.

So, sixty minutes later this man in brown loafers was still out walking. I wanted to know why so I did the only thing I could at that point which was to watch him. I moved to my second floor and found a window overlooking his neighborhood path. There, I sat watching as he walked and walked and walked.

It was almost as if Forest Gump himself had entered our subdivision. I feared that like Forest he was walking from something. In fact with each passing lap it became more clear. His face was fixed in stern concentration and this walk was punishment.

Instantly I felt sorry for him. What was eating at him so much that he needed to punish not only his mind but his body? I began to hypothesize.

a recently deceased wife
an estranged child
a lost grandchild
being fired
feeling alone

Slowly I went back to my household chores and I let the image slip from my mind.

It was only when I left three hours later to go pick up my son that I thought of him once more. Backing out my car to the site of him in my review mirror, still walking. I gasped with surprise.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

Celebrity Syndrome - I'm sick of it!!!

I am so sick of the "Celebrity Syndrome" in this country. And I mean celebrity in the broadest terms. Whether it be political, sports, entertainment, or one of wealth they are all the same and it is all our fault.

What do I mean? Surely everyone knows and is as thoroughly fed up with it as I am.

First I must explain how I feel about human nature. I believe we all make mistakes. I know everyone has their own issues, God knows I have mine. But when celebrities are above not only the law but society, I have a real problem.

Let us look at real life. Taking out names and laying down the facts we have this glowing list:

DUI
DUI
Reckless Driving
Possession
Rehab
Rehab
Rehab

Does this sound like someone you would be friends with? Someone that you would hire? Society might turn their back on this person site unseen just based off of these life choices. They might not be able to get work. Most likely if they did find a job it would be minimum wage and taxing work. We certainly would never dream of putting them in front of our child as a role model or person to look up too. Nor would we offer them thousands of dollars to work for us. Lucky to be a celebrity. Sucks to be the average Joe.

Average Joe - Felony on application = not getting the job = poor.

Celebrity - Felony on application = more press = more fame = bigger paycheck.

Or let's bring it to even more serious terms with regard to their impact on our children.

Teacher, principle, school worker gets DUI - do we still allow them to keep their position? Are they allowed to still be involved in our children's lives?

Celebrity gets DUI - News everywhere and still influencing our children. What lesson are we teaching celebrities and our youth by letting them continually slide?

It is simple, the lesson they learn is that if you have enough money or fame you can get by with anything.

No wonder so many go off the deep end. what type of life is this when there are no boundaries? without them our minds go into chaos and ultimately look for escapes.

So escape.... but use your "driver", limo, or millions of dollars to buy a cab.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

The woman who literally walked away...

So I read an article the other day forwarded to me from a friend of a friend of a friend (hate those) but the title caught my eye, "The woman who literally walked away." Basic premise of the story was that an adult woman had gone missing. Initially the police and family believed there to be foul play involved but after finding her car parked at a nearby beach with her purse and keys in the car their mindset switched to suicide.

For weeks friends and family posted pictures around the city hoping to find anyone who might have seen the woman. It was presumed by all involved that she simply walked into the ocean and never returned. Whether by suicide or accident the watery grave held her mysteries for eternity. That was until the day that someone found her sitting on the beach.

She was taken to the hospital and treated for sunburn and dehydration. So what happened? She won't say. That's right, she claims to not be able to talk about it. The official report was that no crime was committed and the family is happy to have her home.

Is she happy to be home?

This woman who just weeks before walked away from her parked car and started living somewhere near or at the beach. Who despite seeing pictures of her face in various places remained hidden. Was she abducted? Abused? Crazy? All reports towards those scenarios were cleared. No evidence of a crime. Cleared by a psychiatrist. In fact, one statement from the police said that it was not a crime to not want to be found.

So, who out there has wanted to walk away and never return? To just start in one direction and never look back?

What in her life pushed her to that extreme? What was she hiding from or running to?

I'm reminded of a quote from the book Revolutionary Road, "No, Frank. This is what's unrealistic. It's unrealistic for a man with a fine mind to go on working year after year at a job he can't stand. Coming home to a place he can't stand, to a wife who's equally unable to stand the same things. And you know what the worst part of it is? Our whole existence here is based on this great premise that we're special. They we're superior to the whole thing. But we're not. We're just like everyone else! We bought into the same, ridiculous delusion. That we have to resign from life and settle down the moment we have children. And we've been punishing each other for it."

Sometimes people wake up and have no idea how they ended up where they are. There are those that fix this feeling by buying a fancy new car or making a drastic life change. In those instances we cry midlife crisis. I'd like to challenge the same in this story, that she simply looked at her life and no longer recognized it as her own or as she once dreamed it would be. We come to a wall at that moment and something has to change.....anything.
Maybe she found herself in that place, unable to attach herself to anything stable and so she ran from it all. I have heard more moms than I care to admit articulate that same sentiment in wish form.

So after all of these years of forward movement why does it seem that women still can't seem to balance family and self? Why is it that their needs are still placed on the last wrung of the family ladder?

I survived my first mid-life crisis like that of a surf boarders dream swell turned horribly wrong, leaving in my wake pain and confusion. I view it now though as the little leak of air that kept me from popping. The necessary evil to help balance and sanity prevail.

Thank you to those who helped me through. You that inspired me, loved me unconditionally and held me close even when I was fighting to run.

So, the woman who literally walked away - I hope this is not you but I fear too many of us stuff the desire instead of talking about it. Find someone to confide in. I'm happy to listen. No need to be embarrassed or ashamed. I can assure you that I had to hit the floor with humility and beg for help back up.

I'll shut up now thanks...

Why I will never become a famous writer

Grammatical and spelling errors aside, there is another reason that I will never become a famous author and the word used to describe it is guts. Yep, plain old fashioned guts, courage, or balls. Call it what you like unfortunately when it comes to putting it in my "real" writing all that I have goes missing.

I used to keep a journal. My deepest darkest secrets would be recorded there hidden away but also vented through my creative art. I believe this helped keep my mental state in check and when utilized correctly also kept all of my embarrassing items secret. Unfortunately I stopped doing that and started keeping everything bottled up inside. There it would remain for hours, days, weeks and even months simply lying dormant but balanced on my self created teeter totter. Just one extra emotional ounce in any direction would send me either flying up or crashing down.

So why then did I stop writing my journal if it helped me manage all that was going on in my life?

1. Age - I started to wise up to the fact that people could find and read my journal whenever they wanted.

2. Type of secrets

3. Time - Really between work, kids and a husband time became a big constraint.

4. Fear - that someone would read them and judge me.

In my opinion a true creative genius takes their struggles and allows them to feed their art. I wish I could do that. To be so un-afraid and free is most definitely my true calling but I just cannot seem to get past my good ole christian guilt and religion born mistrust.

I've written several novels none of which were gritty or real nor fantasy enough to engulf the reader. I guess to be me, and write with any honesty I would need to be anonymous. Should I adopt a pen name and write the novel inside of me that I know is there?

I'll shut up now thanks...

Just going to stand there and watch me burn?

Haven't we all been there before. Aren't we there everyday, every minute of our lives? We humans bounce around from emotion to emotion some of us barely making it through the day let alone this thing we call life. It is our intrinsic nature to want to share, to not be alone but once we partner up the very thing we craved ends up turning into something we hate. Living with someone else is the ultimate desire for every single man and woman out there and living alone more often than not is the sentiment from married couples around the globe. WHY???? Where did we go wrong in this marriage thing? Maybe where we went wrong is that there are too many "Adam's" out there looking for their "Eve".



Hmmm I remember God saying that man needed a partner and so from Adam's ribs he created Eve thereby creating the whole "other half" mentality. Many many many marriages then follow and occur throughout the Bible but I never recall a recounting from a sermon, message or wedding ceremony during biblical times that mentions the spouses mutually completing each other.



I would argue that we never really can or could complete each other. So why did God design us to need a partner? Why did he put us out in this world flailing around searching? The religious right says that we are not searching for our partner but instead God. The anti-religious left would say the God in us is attracted to the God in another. I say I have no frigging idea. In literary terms I do not possess the knowledge or depth of insight to discern what is the correct way to live this life.



That concept aside let us venture onto after a marriage takes place. What happens next? Where does it go from there? I personally like the concept that love reveals the true person rather than hides it, flaws and all.  And then together they work, yes work, at their marriage sometimes on a daily basis.  Relationships are not passive places for us to hide, rather they are jobs that we need to work on in order to grow.

I heard a pastor speak out on divorce recently. He even candidly talked about mental, emotional and physical abuse as NOT being cause or reason for divorce. Stating that God HATES divorce. Yeah, well so does everyone that goes through it. God hates sin as well but we can't seem to stop doing it.



Divorce happens because we are looking for the best fit.



Divorce happens because we are looking for the best fit.



Yes I repeated myself - I want you to hear it as clear as I can type it. Do you go to the store to buy a pair of jeans and not try them on? Do you order a meal only to be disappointed? Am I comparing finding a soul mate to shopping??? Hell yes I am because one, I am a girl and two, it is the truth. Hello we call this "shopping" dating. Well, for anyone who has ever lived with someone or been married they know that "shopping" is a heck of a lot different than buying. Sometimes those jeans even after you tried them on at the store come home and hang in your closet unworn.



Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a book on marriage that dives deep into the history of the concept and what role the church and state once played and still play in that union. It is very educational. In biblical days if a man chose to divorce his wife, he merely needed to write it down. A woman on the other hand was forced to endure it until the bitter end or a merciful release. In biblical days daughters slept with fathers, cousins slept with cousins and authoritative men raped and sodomized. I mean if we stuck to everything that happened in biblical times I shutter to think about how my life would have turned out. Forced into an arranged marriage I see my spirit ending in a Romeo and Juliet fashion. I have no desire to be told who to marry or that I am stuck with that person for life even if I have made a mistake. Even up into the Victorian age women could be Queen but were not qualified to choose their lover? Clue in to everyone out there.....this is not a perfect world and will never be a perfect world. We can look to the Bible for answers, we can look for guidance and I believe that God would have us use common sense in both instances. Looking at things for what they really were and some times taking them in literal translation rather than seeking a deeper meaning.



I am starting to digress. I have a point, or at least I think I do. LOL I used to believe in the fairy tale that there was one person out there who would as Tom Cruise put it best, complete me. Now I believe that there is one person out there who can love me BEST. There are many who can love but only one who is my best mate, a soul mate. There is never completion rather acceptance. You can live with their flaws better than anyone else. You look at them and do not need to see a perfect person or perfect reflection of yourself. It is the person that puts you at ease in a way that no one else is capable of doing. Do they dote on you? Do they sense your every need? Do they never get angry? Do they never get frustrated? Do they give you everything you ever wanted? Not necessarily but they love you best.



The great oxymoron of life is that we can never truly be content. As in the movie Serenity - contentment breeds apathy and apathy breeds death. Each and every one of us are designed to fight in some sense of the word. The day we stop fighting is the day we cease to exist.



I love a man who isn't perfect, a man whom I look at with trust and respect. Do I get hurt by him? Absolutely. Do I hurt him? Sure. Do I enjoy him? Immensely. Does he compliment and bolster my confidence? Repeatedly. Does he complete me? NO. I am complete without another human being. God made us to want a partner because he knew what it felt like to be alone, why do you think he created us? But he also created us uniquely and outside of Adam, I do not believe that he took half of our rib to create another human being to complete us in life. Rather that there is a partner created that best compliments each of us.



So my final soap box rant circles around my key concept of love and marriage. Why is there so much divorce? Because we cannot stand to be alone.



Better to be with someone you can tolerate than on our own pining away for something that we desire. I mean lets look to Hollywood - sigh... I hate using Hollywood as an example because I do not believe in Celebrities (but that is a whole other blog in itself) but in this case I am referring to a media's documentation of a certain demise of a marriage. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. This topic plays beautifully into my point. Look at the media coverage. Who is the bad guy? Angelina Jolie. Who is the victim? Jennifer Aniston. COME ON. In this day and age we are going to go with the stereotypical type casting?? Is Jennifer Aniston truly the victim? People say that because she is the one that ended up alone. But WHY IS ALONE SO BAD? Why do we look at alone as a negative? Would everyone still feel sorry for her if she was re-married with 5 kids? Was Brad to continue living a lie ending in a relationship like Tiger Woods and his wife, with multiple infidelities?



So ask me the tough question now. Ask me how you decipher the best person to complete you before you get married? Yeah, good luck. There really isn't a way. I'm going to throw a radical notion out there and then leave you to think on your own. Here it is: More than one person can love us but only one loves us best. Some of us may easily find our 10. Some may be perfectly happy with their 5. Perhaps to some 5's their spouse is their 10. Are you following me here? Do you see the infinite pattern? What are the statistical mathematics of a 10 finding their 10? Factor in time into the equation and you get an even larger pool of numbers. Over 10 years can a 5 move up to a 6 or what about an 8? Is is possible to start out an 8 and a 5 but by year 25 become two 10's?



The answer is yes. In this perfect chaos there is order. We live, we grow, we change and we fight. As I said before without fight we would die. Some people love easy and others love hard. In the end if we work at it we can raise our stakes and in that instance I say we pray for our true 10 in hopes that he or she has also found someone that will work to move into the double digits for them.



Just going to stand there and watch me burn? That's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just going to stand there and hear me cry? That's alright because I like the way you lie, I like the way you lie.



We settle for less and we expect more. We can grow into more, so much more but when your 10 comes a long while you are waiting on the 5 to evolve the end result is divorce. For that matter if you marry a 6 and a 7 comes a long the desire to "upgrade" presents itself strong.



Guess what? I'll shut up now, thanks...

Health Care Reform

So I sat all day stewing about the most recent turn of events in Washington DC and the way that people are acting/reacting to the news. And after reading post after post on both sides of the fence I have finally come to my own conclusion....we are spoiled!!



Yes - you read correctly and there is no need to adjust your screen because it is the truth. America - WE ARE SPOILED!



What a luxury for us to sit around and discuss health care reform all day. Meanwhile other countries less fortunate are simply wondering if they will even HAVE a doctor in their town when they get the flu, sinus infection, allergic reaction, etc. And instead of begging for the Government to provide them with health care or telling the Government to mind their own business they are simply asking for antibiotics.



It doesn't get more simple than that. We argue about the quality, cost, availability and Government influence while they sit on their front stoop hoping they don't die.



We have spent a lot of time looking at Canada and Europe, enviously wanting what we do not have. When instead we should be looking to Africa and India, counting our blessings for what we do.

I'll shut up now thanks...

I'm beyond words...OK maybe I'm not

I'm going to spend a few minutes on Haiti and the relief efforts there.

I am mortified and humbled by the devastation. My heart aches for the countless number of people who have been injured and killed. Thinking about the newly broken families is enough to make me physically sick.

Applause to the many across America who have donated money in some way to Haiti. It is very encouraging to shop at a store and be asked if I would like to donate by adding on a dollar or more to my current bill. Churches are collecting special offerings and supporting organizations who are there to help. As most of you know, you can even text to donate on your phone. Celebrities and other wealthy corporations and individuals have made substantial donations. Financially America - we have been quick to move and eager to help.

I think on that topic we can all agree.

Let's discuss our Government and Military response. I do not appreciate CNN's negative turn on our response. It angers me when people who have no ties with the Military speak out as if they know. Despite how the Government has decided to send troops, or when the Military are able to get them on the ground our soldiers are still people. They are NOT some robotic tool that we can move and place immediately where we need when needed. This is NOT a movie.

Each soldier sent represents a family back home who says goodbye to their loved one during an already deployment filled life. Some will even leave their families to go help despite facing a deployment later this year. It is not as if our Military has had a lot of free time on their hands.
Snatching up an active, reservist or National Guard unit has consequences that must be weighed. I do not believe for one second that our top Military officials dragged their feet or hindered this process in anyway. Rather that they used caution and prudence while making their plans so as not to go in half-cocked and unable to complete the task.

It is disheartening to think that our news stations are comfortable blasting across the airwaves that they do not believe we are doing enough. Of course it is going to look like that because "enough" is not possible. This is a long term rescue and rebuild not an overnight flash. Long after the media shine fades away our Soldiers, the men and women of this country will still be there helping. The News stations may be the first to arrive but they are also the first to leave. In contrast our military will be there for the duration.

In closing, I guess I should clarify that I have nothing against the media. Much like I am sure they have nothing against the US Soldiers. Yet they still report negatively and here I am merely doing the same. Calling out with my freedom of speech when I see something that doesn't seem right.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

Avatar

Let's see if this gets anyone reading, or thinking, or existing...

I was surprised to still see a line 3o minutes before the movie was even starting! This movie is making a bundle!!!

First review of the movie is a resounding - OK.



Despite the innovative and visually pleasing special effects the storyline itself was thin. Perhaps money would have better been spent making some changes to the script. My humble suggestions:



We ARE human, just so everyone remembers, and as a human I wanted to know just exactly what happened to planet Earth. A short flashback in any one of the key characters could have provided a glimpse into our home that we had to leave behind. This element would have helped me relate to the need to harvest some random black and silver material.



Let's touch on that mysterious rock, unobtanium. We were never told how or why this item was so important. We were told it was worth a lot of money - but without explanation. What made it worth so much? What did it do?



I felt like the references made to medical advances was trite and not important. It was as if we were being pacified. We destroyed the earth but made significant medical advances.... are we to believe the smarter we get the more wasteful we become?

Let's talk about our human infiltration into the tribe. Great - wonderful story line and the part I enjoyed the most. However, tell me then why it was so complicated to go ahead and just ASK them if we could mine the land below them for the element? I mean, they spoke English so where was the barrier there? And continuing on with that line of thinking.... with all of our obvious technical and mechanical advances then why did we have to destroy the tree? What would have been so hard to have tunneled in? Hello - we have been mining here on Earth for years.....oh and doing it without destroying trees.

Politically and artistically I believe a writer can do or say whatever they want. It is their story and I applaud an author that uses their gift to send a message. Whether I agree with that view or not is irrelevant. I'm the one that chooses what book I read and what movie I see, as do all of you. So attacking that part of the movie is not my style.

With regards to the Pope telling people not to go to this movie... that is not his place. He can suggest, he can encourage but ultimately just as God created us with free will it is our choice. If you are catholic and respect the man then your choice is simple. If you are catholic and choose to see the film is it a sin? No. The Pope is NOT the voice of God though God may use him, God also uses people all around in everyday walks of life - the smallest of us sometimes have the most providential words.

My recommendation to those who walk in Christian faith of any kind is to pray about it and decide for yourself. Go into it knowing that it is meant to entertain and with the expectation that there are some Eastern religious ideas flowing throughout. Take it as FICTION.

I should not even open my mouth about the movie's aftermath as it irritates me so.... but I will briefly throw out my opinion. Here is the article link:

www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/11/avatar.movie.blues/index.html

What a travesty. What ignorance. I love that fiction can take us places beyond our wildest imagination but that is all it is. I take offense when they talk about how beautiful their planet was. I think Earth IS beautiful. It doesn't even make any sense to talk about dying to get to their planet unless of course you believe in re-incarnation because the story takes place many many years in the future - not after death. I am saddened by this whole reaction. As I mentioned in a previous blog, we are seekers. These people are seeking and we need to give them the tools to help them see this is a journey to a destination, not the end.

And so, my main complaint are the holes I mentioned above plus a few more. I have skimmed the "book" or rather "survival guide" online and found some but not all the answers that help satisfy my questions.

Will I rent the movie on video? Yes. I want to see it again without the 3-D.

In my humble opinion - this is simply a case of an entertainment movie being elevated beyond its proper place.

I'll shut up now, thanks...

Side Note

Well, I warned you there would be no regularity here. Outside of my morning cup of decaf coffee I have no routine. I simply do what I can do, when I can do it.

Something I failed to mention in my opening blog - grammar is not my strong suit. So yes, if you are one of those who like to get all bent out of shape regarding "its or it's" - you are going to be frustrated. I readily admit you are better than me and have no illusions over this issue!!

I'll shut up now, thanks.....